अब तक

Bansal finds his new friends in BARC

laughingindia — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:52:06 +0000

AB TAK. (30 March 2009)

Bansl finds his new friends in BARC. according to the correspindats of ab tak Bansl has find his new friends in BARC. As compared to BIET his new friends are more cooperative and helpfull.

They take care of his desires and ensure that Bansal should not feel alone in the entire community.

According to Bansal, his new friends often enjoy his open relationship.

Bansal sys on this topic and about his friends ” we jan sambandho ka khyal rakhte hain” ( they take care of public relations)

Bansal is quite happy in BARC

A Letter to ex-girl friend

laughingindia — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:31:39 +0000

Thanks for being my love for one and half years, when you receive this
letter I believe you might have selected a new boy friend and started
enjoying your dating. Every lovers needs to struggle a bit to get a boy
friend or girl friend.

Monisha … In order to recover your missing, I got another girl from next
street & as you know this is my forth love, from all my past experiences I
have learned a lot. When the love blossoms everyone starts writing love
letters, you know very well… I have written many love letter to you , and
writing a love letter in poetic way is not so easy nowadays MONISHA , and
it’s a time consuming work, In order to avoid all this I need all my lover
letters back so that I can put corrector and send to my new girl friend ,
please send it back to me , I don’t have poetic references or any photocopy
of these letters. Another thing MONISHA, I have given you one cute photo of
mine , can you send it to me please , you know better that this is the only
photo I look very cute & handsome and this photo I have taken when I was in
my very first love.

And also, during my 1 ½ years of love days I have spend lot of monies for
impressing you, I am attaching a list of expenses which I request you to
clear it at the earliest.

The expenses are as follows: Lunch / Dinner ; 895, Cool Drinks 2938 Rs,
Snacks 5645 Rs. , Juice 3845 Rs. Cinema 1235Rs. Internet Chatting 1499 Rs.
, Mobile 2546 Rs. Petrol 4255 Rs. Gift Items 7850 Rs, – Grand Total :
30,708 rs (in Words : Thirty Thousand Seven Hundred and Eight Rupees).

Please try to clear the above amount so that I can spend these monies on my
new girl friend, and more over if you have any of my gift lying with you,
am ready to take these packs in half prices. Please calculate the value of
packs left over and deduct it from the above statement of account.

I am enclosing herewith your love letters (Weigh around 4 Kg) so that you
no need to write again to your boy friend and your photo so that you can
give to your new Boy Friend.

I just quit drinking!!!

laughingindia — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:07:42 +0000

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer

and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.

The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the

glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.”

The man replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in

Dubai, the other in Canada and I’m here in London.

When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember

the days when we drank together.

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars

notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,”

I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere

condolences on your great loss. “

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs …. “Oh,
no,”

he, said, “Everyone’s fine – both my brothers are alive” .

” The only thing is

………… …

I just quit drinking!!!

1st ATTACK!

laughingindia — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:40:24 +0000

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai
DR: Kya?

Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta

Dr: aisa kab hota hai?

Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?

Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun

Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?

Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,

“He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade.”

After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,”Khotee de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le”

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya.

1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

In bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?

Sardar: I don’t know.

Examiner: You r failed, what’s your name?

Sardar: see my leg and know the same

HUB-WIF

laughingindia — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:03:15 +0000

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.”
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli “Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti”

After 25 yrs wife said: Do u remember when u proposed me,
I was so overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 hour
hubby:Yes dear that was happiest hour of my life!

A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first…

Husband : (came frm office ) Darling i m tired should
a cup of coffee
Wife: oo sure sweetheart kitchen is besides you
but plz make its strong n ya sugar shud b less..

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever

wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date ……

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? “
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

What a reply?!

laughingindia — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 09:01:28 +0000

A quality engineer married an average girl

after 2 year of tough life with her, finally engineer got angry and send a note to father- in-law stating that:

” YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENT”

The smart father-in-law replied:

“WARRANTY EXPIRED, MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE”

Jappier’s Spoken English

laughingindia — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:37:57 +0000

In Tamilnadu , there is a well known person by name , Mr. Jeppier , Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges , always speaks in English. That college students have collected & published a book by name “Jappier’s Spoken English”
. Njoy ………….with his………. …..English. ……… …….

Now , here are some classic English sentences from the great
“Jappier’s Spoken English”

# At the ground:
——————-
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her….{Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy , angrily:
———————-
I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
——————————–
You , rotate the ground four times…
You , go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late – say YES or NO …..(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict ABT this )
————————————————————-
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt , U shirt , V shirt.. But if you want to wear … Remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus

# Sir at his best:
——————-
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance , he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre , though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school… (to that boy) – “Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
——————————————-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet , boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences…….

Once Sir had come late to a college function , by the time he reached , the function had begun , so he went to the dais , and said , sorry I am late , because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

#At Sathyabama college day 2002:

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks , I the happy , tomorrow u get good job , jpr the happy , tomorrow u marry with good person I the enjoy”

#At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police “